. Words to remember and live by .
I have been lucky to come across these 3 articles tonight in a short span of time and this post will make it easier for me to find them when I need reminding. The first is about soul purpose. The second inspires small actions to make the world better. The third is about marriage, but most of the points I feel are applicable to all relationships, and all the "your wife"s should be substituted with "your partner". And the last is about living and being alive.
1.
How do you discover your SOUL PURPOSE?
Your SOUL PURPOSE is that driving mission you want to live, that
passion you want to feel, that contribution you want to make and that
legacy you want to leave.
There's sometimes an illusion that we buy
into that says we don't know our purpose, or we're not ready for it, or
worst of all, we don't have one... we wait and hope for some magical
sign or heavenly messenger to finally tell us what it is and that we are
ready to live it.
I assure you, You DO have a purpose and it's
clues have been around you all the time, and in discovering and living
in alignment of that purpose you will feel a joy and energy for life
that you cannot experience in any other way.
It's almost as if
it's hidden in the fog, right in front of us, waiting for us all the
time to FIND and to CLAIM it, to live it fully and unapologetically.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go
do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -
Howard Thurman
When you answer these questions, the fog begins to clear and we see clearly what our heart and soul is begging us to pursue.
1) WHAT ARE YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT?
What makes my heart SING? What do I love to do when I have nothing to
do? What fills me up and brings me JOY? What do I do where I lose track
of time? What dreams do I have? What would I be willing to FIGHT for?
2) WHAT TALENTS or GIFTS DO YOU HAVE?
What comes easily to me that may be hard for others? What talents have I
worked to develop? What seems to flow naturally from me?
3) WHO DO YOU FEEL DRAWN TO SERVE?
Who do I feel a desire to help? What causes or charities do I feel
compelled to support? What suffering do I want to relieve? What type of
advice do people come to me for?
4) WHAT PROBLEMS HAVE YOU OVERCOME?
Often our 'mess' becomes our 'message'. What are the greatest trials I
have faced in my life? What have I learned in going through that? How
can I help others who are going through similar challenges?
5) WHAT WOULD STRETCH, INSPIRE, and MOTIVATE YOU to be the very best ?
What books do I love to read? What do I love to study? What challenges do I enjoy? What are goals that scare and excite me?
In the end, as I have thought about it... I believe WE ALL have the same 3 CORE FOUNDATIONS to OUR SOUL PURPOSE.
We are here to HAVE JOY.
We are here to CONTRIBUTE to others.
We are here to GROW.
Anything that fulfills those for you is your SOUL PURPOSE.
The beautiful thing is that you can live your purpose today, and your
purpose will EVOLVE as you do. It will continue to change. It will be
different in 5 years than it is now, so just start with where you are at
today.
In the pursuit of this purpose lies the deepest fulfillment and meaning of life.
For me, I have discovered My SOUL PURPOSE is to MENTOR others to AWAKEN
to their divine authentic power, to DISCOVER their Soul Purpose, to
STAND as CONSCIOUS CREATORS, and to MAKE MONEY while doing what they
LOVE.
I live my purpose through the seminars, speeches, and
mentoring programs I create. I live that purpose through the messages I
share. I live that purpose through the choices I make everyday. That
purpose is as much a part of me as the blood that courses through my
veins.
My invitation for you is to simply look around you
today, and keep asking these questions. GOD has given you your purpose
for a reason... NOW is the time to live it more fully.
You have one life to live, LIVE BIG!
Gerald Rogers
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we live in a world where many are lost, and seeking for direction.
Please share. you never know whose life will be blessed when you do.
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2. via https://medium.com/change-i-want-to-see/73e35a32c7de
Being The Change You Want to See
What it means to live the way you want the world to be
In
the middle of a conversation, my friend remarked, “I am really
impressed with what Adrianna is doing with the food thing.” His remark
threw me off the moment he said it, because he doesn’t know Adrianna
personally, except by virtue of my excessive Facebook shares. Also, I
thought nobody paid attention to that ‘food thing’ I shared on Facebook,
a couple of days ago.
That ‘food thing’, is one of the many initiatives spearheaded by a dear friend of mine, Adrianna Tan. Somehow between all her caffeine-induced adrenalin and alcohol-induced stupor, she hatches schemes like “Culture Kitchen”, which aims to bring immigrant communities closer to the local culture through food and art.
When Adrianna comes up with ideas like that, I only take her half seriously, because she tries to do a thousand things at one time in between her career and frequent travels. Then, one day a photo like this creeps up on my Facebook feed:
And
there I am, falling in intellectual love with Adrianna all over again. I
am incredibly proud of her as a fellow Singaporean, as a friend, as a
partner-in-crime with all the other initiatives we try to spearhead.
She explains why with her own writing:
I can, however, build communities and movements. This is one of the things I know I can do well, and I want to lend my technological and organisational skills to building a movement which will stand up for a Singapore which includes. The Singapore we want to see. While I will continue to call out the xenophobes every time they emerge from the hills, I will also spend twice as much time on helping to create a counter movement which is positive in nature. I don’t have an ROI, I don’t have an end goal, I just want to bring people together. – Why I’m Hosting Culture Kitchen
When I first made connections.sg,
I was asked for my ‘real agenda’ or ‘how are you going to monetize’.
People find it hard to believe when I say I don’t have an agenda, except
I think and believe a simple step forward can make things better.
I am growing incredibly serious and passionate about wanting to realize my ideals and beliefs
and yet plenty of times I question my own motivations myself. Why am I
doing this? Why is it important that I go around trying to explain my
thoughts to anybody who would listen to me?
I look at what Adrianna is doing, eight thousand miles across the world and I am reminded why.
It
does not matter what people think or if they would understand. If they
question or if they are skeptical. In this game called life, we can only
do our very own individual best and hope that we have the blessing to
find other partners-in-crime for the things we care about. Even if we
don’t, we have to forge this lonely path ourselves anyway.
If we think humanity can be better, then let’s try to be better humans. If I want people to write more, then I will attempt to write more myself. If I think small efforts
are paramount to a ripple of positive effects, then let me reflect that
in my own little actions. If I wish for people to make better choices
in the grand scheme of trying to forward humanity, I need to be
exceptionally conscious of those choices myself.
Human
beings are fundamentally social creatures. Modern society has proven
that we could make other people emulate materialistic behavior by
priding material success.
My sincere question
is, could we make people emulate compassionate and empathetic behavior
by showing how much good and joy we can all personally derive from it?
It
makes people around you think if you demonstrate an unexpected
behavior. It makes me sad to even type this that showing kindness, grace
and generosity is considered to be unexpected. You no longer question
when your friend buys a beautiful expensive car, but you question
someone’s agenda when they try to do good.
Why?
I exchanged a few texts with Adrianna right after the event, she tells me she’s exhausted but she ‘loves people and the world’.
I
felt her joy eight thousand miles across the world, I felt my own joy
because I understood how much it meant to her and I am made to feel sane
for wanting to love people and the world. For all the potentially crazy
things I may attempt to do later on in my own life, in order to show
how much I can love people and the world.
In
this era of cynicism and skepticism, I am most grateful for the Adrianna
Tans in this world. The ones who will make things happen despite all
the questions and impossibilities.
She knows
she needs to do these things because she wouldn’t be able to live with
herself otherwise. In other words, she is doing it because she ‘loves
people and the world’, but fundamentally she needs to do it for herself.
It
is very much the same for me. Perhaps on my deathbed my attempts to
better this world the way I envision it can be, would be ultimately
futile. Would it matter though?
For I would
be able to take my last breath in peace, knowing that I have exhausted
and gave my entire self to this world, rather than wondering if I could
have done more, if miracles would happen if I had tried doing them.
And this is what it means to be the change you want to see.
You simply be.___________________________________________________________________________________
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3.
Marriage Advice via Gerald Rogers
1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.
3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.
4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.
5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.
7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.
Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.
9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.
10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.
11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.
12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.
13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.
14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)
15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don't know i she will like what she finds... Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.
17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.
18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.
19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.
20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.
In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.
Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.
These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.
But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.
If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.
The woman that told him 'I do', and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.
If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.
MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.
Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.
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My 30 Things at 30. ~ Nadia Mah
Source: relevantmagazine.com via Kaylan on Pinterest
I woke up on my 30th birthday feeling odd, but very happy.
I realized that for the first time in years, I was embracing my birthday rather than (un)welcoming it with anxiety.More than previous birthdays, I was aware of how lucky I was to age with the people, love and stories I had in my life. Gratitude replaced angst. Confidence replaced fear. It was definitely the best way to celebrate a milestone birthday.
“My 30 Things at 30″ is a reflection of some of the core philosophies I live by—all of which bring me joy and light.
1. When you feel like no one understands, find solace in music. It seems there is always at least one song that can fill a part of the void in your heart.2. Whenever possible, leave your city and explore somewhere new. It makes home that much better to come back to. Or maybe you learn that you’ve outgrown your home, which is good too.
3. Those mornings when you wake up wondering “Why am I still here, doing the same thing?” will eventually propel you to make a change. The less you resist that push, and the faster you act on it, the wiser.
4. I often wonder why people are so scared of being lost, on the road and in life. It’s kind of a cool feeling. Let it surprise you with the unexpected. Don’t be scared unless you feel like you’ll be lost forever. Then it’s time to craft a road map.
5. Hang out with small people regularly. Kids are best at reminding you to slow life down, to speak more clearly, and to notice the details—like shoelaces, crumbs and sticky fingers.
6. If you’re ever with someone who makes you wonder “why” instead of “how” you are with them, it means you’re with the wrong person.7. Being with the right person feels effortless because all actions suddenly become motivated by love, rather than obligation.
8. It’s often the case you don’t understand how much your own parents sacrificed and compromised until you become a parent yourself. The earlier you realize this, the earlier you can truly learn to appreciate your parents as an individual and as a unit.
9. The first time you have to give your parents advice is weird. It’s even weirder when they listen. It really sucks when they don’t.
10. Sometimes I look at my best friends and wonder if I would ever get anywhere in life without them. I don’t think I would ever be strong or brave enough to do it alone.
11. Figure out what sort of books intrigue you, then read regularly.
12. Figure out what sort of organizations move you, then volunteer regularly.
13. When something dumb or unfair happens, either do something about it or learn to laugh it off as soon as possible. Alternatively, be proactive about preventing dumb things from happening.
14. The best gift you can give yourself is to learn to feel comfortable in your own skin. Build your confidence up slowly and surely—it helps to grow up with glasses and braces.
15. Being cool is relative to being lame. Don’t be so cool that you become lame.16. Get your own life. Spend some quality and dedicated time developing your own interests and passions. The goal of course is to turn passion into living, which is challenging but worth trying.
17. I borrowed this one, and am trying to actively apply it to my life: “Don’t treat your stomach like a garbage can.” (It has been challenging but very satisfying so far.)
18. Be gentle with people you meet. You have yet to learn what they are about, or why they are the way they are.
19. Shower those you love with lots of affection; it’s the sweetest thing. Babies thrive off affection. I believe adults do too.
20. Make it a habit to say “thank you” in a way that ensures the other person really understands. Feeling appreciated inspires people to do great things.
21. Seeing the beauty in others, mirror the beauty that exist in yourself.
22. Have a few signature dishes you can cook up in the kitchen. There’s nothing more satisfying than feeding your friends and family.
23. Your age and body may grow older, but let your heart and soul remain forever young.
24. It’s impossible to know everything, so seek guidance from the infinite resources made available around you. Start by asking the first question.
25. Holding onto grudges is really silly—it’s giving someone power to have a negative effect on you longer than necessary.
26. I hate when I hear someone say: “You laugh too loud.” Laughing is the most wonderful sound in the world. It should be celebrated.
27. Rad. Intelligent. Beautiful. Happy. Be any or all of those things, and make it infectious.28. Act the fool. It’s so much fun.
29. The worse thing is not lying to someone else. It’s lying to yourself.
30. Go ahead, live by any philosophy you want. Just live it, now.
Nadia Mah dreams to one day be the best selling author of children books. For now, she is building a career in marketing, traveling as often as possible, and hosting (scrumptious) dinner parties.
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