Whenever I look back
On the best days of my life
I think I saw them all on T.V.
I am so homesick now for
Someone that I never knew
I am so homesick now for
Someplace I will never be

Time won't let me go
Time won't let me go
If I could do it all again
I'd go back and change -->everything
But time won't let me go

I never had a 'Summer of 69'
Never had a Cherry Valance of my own
All these precious moments
You promised me would come in time
So where was I when I missed mine?

Time won't let me go
Time won't let me go
If you gave me back those years
I'd do it all better I swear
Time won't let me go

If I could go back once again
I would change everything, yeah
If I could go back once again
I'd do it all so much better

Time won't let me go
Time won't let me go
If I could do it all again
I'd go back and change -->everything
But you won't ever let me go


oh well

. Hello! Buttermilk! .

Well, it's been a while.

I've moved back home and it's taken a while for me to get used to equipment and humidity here re: baking. I believe I'm getting back on my feet.
Baked 2 cakes recently, from the Little Teochew's blog. I bought buttermilk on a whim and also because I was craving pound cake and had the idea of possibly trying buttermilk out in cake. So Google led me to the Little Teochew's links below:

http://www.thelittleteochew.com/2012/03/lemon-buttermilk-pound-cake.html
and
http://www.thelittleteochew.com/2012/04/chocolate-buttermilk-cake-again.html

I know I didn't follow the recipes to a T (as I usually do, out of habit), and can't really remember what I changed up (cept subbing 1/4 or so cup of  Bailey's for the rum in the latter cake; and increasing the measurements of everything but the sugar, to use up ingredients) but they both turned out pretty magnifique. So I believe the cat might have finally landed on her feet.

Tomorrow, I find out if the chocolate cake managed to stay soft, moist and luscious.

No pictures because I really suck at doing justice to the food, and also I'm lazy.

Update: The cakes were absolutely luscious. The chocolate chunks which I added also gave lovely solid little chocolatey velvety crunches. Big brother chided me for him just absolutely having to gorge his face on cake because he just could not stop himself. Lovely =)

. Honey Cupcakes/ Cookie Batter .

1 1/3 cup plain flour minus 2 1/2 tbsp

2 1/2 tbsp corn flour

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

125g butter

1-2tbsp honey

2/3 cup sugar

2 eggs

1/2 cup sour cream

Dash of coffee essence

Vanilla essence

180deg....

Timing = ??? Maybe about 20 mins or so

Makes a crusty cupcake but might've been the semi unmelted butter chunks

Might make good cookie batter

Excellent topped with Betty Crocker Chocolate Fudge Icing

. what i love about her .

for mother's day, mother's mother's day.

her amusing quirks
her insane lvls of vanity...

• having a mirror by her side at the hospice to make sure she always looked pretty...even at the age of 93.
• wanting to get plastic surgery to laser off her liver spots on her face...since forever...up till now.
• insisting my mum buy the correct compact powder for her...my last memory of this was when she was about 80 plus.

her obsession with jewellery and shopping which i totally inherited
her long-lasting youth...even at 80 plus she used to say "Next time when I'm old......"
her shy smile when u wanna take a picture of her
how she told me not to make her wait so long and to come back quickly when i was leaving after my visit home during my summer break
how she's always so particular and fussy about her food taste and water temperature
and her da pi ku!
her feistiness
how she walks like a 2 or 3 yr old toddler...upright, belly out, legs lifted high
her amazing talents as a domestic goddess....her crochet skills which she never managed to impart to me cos we just couldn't understand each other....her unbelievable cooking skills, her beadwork (never got to see but heard of)
her strength and resilience through her growing up years, her marriage, everything...
her stubbornness

her grumpiness

her over-frugality/hoarders obsession...like bugging my mum, when i was young to keep away most of my underwear and only leave out a few cos it's not good to let a child have so much choice...lol

her bugging me for the longest time that i should have my hair cut really short. that little girls look much better with short hair....until she realised i was as stubborn as she was.

her love for us even though she complains a lot, nitpicks a lot, could be super unreasonable...but she loves us

Her apt, CNY 2008, pottering right before the arrival of the hoi polloi

Lim Cheng Kheng, born 4-12-1917, crossed over 17-1-2012.
Dearly missed and deeply loved, every single fucking day.

An update, 8 April 2013:
When I think about her, I think about her strength, her crazy talents, and her humility. I think about the pain she went through, blind to the realisation of her Greatness, her beauty. I think about her big heart, her love, her self-sacrifice and caring; and the little child inside her just crying out for love and recognition; and the cancerous bitterness, indignation and self-loathing that prevented her from receiving what she deserved....all that love...all that recognition... which were well and truly present....not from all, but from some. At least till the last few weeks of her life. I'm glad she felt it. I'm glad she realised. I'm glad she was willing to receive. And I'm glad she afforded me the opportunity to witness her miracle, to share so deeply, to be a part of her last few moments...., And above all, to choose me, to share; between the both of us, that very last moment.

Dearly missed and deeply loved, with immense gratitude and the highest respect, every single fucking day.

. vortexy .

that feeling that comes when you know something is just right for you....
that's what i'm feeling right now
inspiration comes when i least expect it and i think my best artwork is created when i'm doodling on "not the good piece of paper"

i've wanted a tattoo since i was maybe 16 or 17. And I told myself, if i still wanted one when i hit 25, i'd get one.
but it had to be meaningful and unique
and i've got one
i can guarantee of the 6 over billion people in the world, no one has come up with a design as such.

it's a design of symbol of myself, encompassing love, music, spirituality, peace, growth, rebirth, abundance, even a symbolism for being a Virgo, enlightenment, sacredness. fluidity, unity, balance, the feminine aspect, in so many ways, over and over these themes just manage to be represented by the curves, lines....
you can even find the letter N in it.
it started out with the letter n anyway
it's almost perfect...just requires a few adjustments here and there...work out the kinks a little and it'll be good to go.
Now i just need to find someone talented enough to help me finalise it and deliver it.
Seeing as how this symbol was delivered from within, I'll trust that, that tattooist has been delivered as well.
Placement.....back....or front...... Back will not be stretched and will be untouched. Front will be interesting to see how it morphs with each child. They'll each leave their mark on it. =)
I think I quite like that. But we'll see....

I said gnite at 330. Spent an hour listening to incubus...and allowing myself to just float along... An hour and a half just drawing, researching, getting inspiration...then wham! And half an hour refining.

love u inner self! love the inspiration that comes fast and furious, most deliciously from within.

I'm floating down the river....oars free from their holds long ago....maybe we can meet further down the river...we'll share what we've discovered, and revel in the view

. Housemate's bday cupcakes...sorta .

Same recipe as the lemon kiwi cupcakes which were turned into the honey grape ones
but sub half a pack of cream cheese for the fruits.
And 1 and a half tbsps of honey

"I'm not going to hold you responsible for the way I feel. You are free to behave in whatever way, because I am an exerciser of unconditional love."

Then you can say, "The relationship that is supremely important to me is the relationship between me and ME. And when I get that into alignment, you're going to have a really good time with me.

Because when I hook up with that Source energy, you're going to be loved like you've never been loved. You're going to be appreciated like you've never been appreciated . You're going to be uplifted like you've never been uplifted. And you are off the hook, because I take responsibility for how I feel."

Imagine how a relationship based on that would be!

playin around on a transoceanic video call with the dear one.

his guitar, my guitar.

our own tunes

and some lyrics

if you asked, we'll never tell you what it's about. so have fun guessing.

it's not that straightforward

what you glean from it, is only your projection
in your case, I’d call it mass projection
what you gleaned from the superficial, is nothing but superficial.
and if it's worth your while, you really should look beneath
just too bad it wasn't enough
and all we're left with is a deep paper cut
so we'll never know, now would we

and i'll still remain, perfectly incomplete

maligned?

whatever

Sorry my first reaction placates
Sorry my first feeling was absent
i'm sorry i couldn't react fast enough
and i'm sorry that now that i'm unnumbed


i can't call you
won't
tell you how i feel now.
give you my missing chance
I’d like to promise that we’ll talk
Eventually
just not right now
But why bother?

I’ll always be
Perfectly incomplete
Perfectly, complete.

really want to go to unihill.
i need new clothes.
new jeans
and a leather jacket
and some nice non tee-shirt tops/camis
coupla skirts, and leggings

. ignorance is bliss .

the longer i live here, the more i feel i don't know enough of home
i know that people complain a lot about home. but i'm pretty sure it has great potential and lots to work with. and lots to work on.

Let's dance in style let's dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?

Let us die young let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
Sitting in the sandpit life is a short trip
The music's for the sad man

May the best of your todays, be the worst of your tomorrows, but we aint even thinking that far, ya know wha I mean?

So we live a life like a video
When the sun is always out and you never get old
and the champagne’s always cold
and the music is always good
and the pretty girls just happen to stop by in the hood
and they hop their pretty ass up on the hood of dat pretty ass car
without a wrinkle in today
cuz there is no tomorrow
just some picture perfect day
to last a whole lifetime
and it never ends
cos all we have to do is hit rewind
so lets just stay in the moment, smoke some weed,
drink some wine,
reminisce talk some shit forever young is in your mind
leave a mark that can’t erase neither space nor time
so when the director yells cut,
I’ll be fine,
I’m forever young…

. reviews! .

So far 2 people have eaten my honey strawberry greengrape cupcakes

1st person said
"But I won't lie to u. These are the best cupcakes in the world. So good I ate the paper too... Omg u should start ur own bakery. omg. I'm leaving cause I won't be able to control myself."

2nd person said
"Mmm these are good. Omg they're seriously putting a huge smile on my face. Man I rate them 5/5"

. honey, strawberry and green grape cupcake .

same recipe as kiwi-lemon cupcakes but i subbed the kiwis with some strawberries and some green grapes. left out about 1/16th of the sugar and added 2 heaped tsps of honey.

while the cupcakes were baking....my god....the aroma of the honey was unbelievable. it was heavenly! Almost cloying (i was wondering if i'd put too much honey but it was just right), almost tangible
honestly, the smell was almost intoxicating and i have no idea how to describe it in a way that wud do it justice. one of those, "you had to be there" moments

and now my hair smells lovely =)

the cake(s) i ate was sooo moist and fluffy and the honey added such a lovely delicate crust. mmmmmmm

gotta thank my housemate for suggesting honey
in a moment of temporary amnesia, i wasn't wanting to add it in at first cos i wasn't sure of the measurements, then remembered who i really am and did it the usual 'just whack' way

everything about you is how i'd wanna be
your freedom comes naturally
everything about you resonates happiness
now i won't settle for less

give me all the peace and joy in your mind

everything about you pains my envying
your soul can't hate anything
everything about you is so easy to love
they're watching you from above

give me all the peace and joy in your mind
i want the peace and joy in your mind
give me the peace and joy in your mind

everything about you resonates happiness
now i won't settle for less

give me all the peace and joy in your mind
i want the peace and joy in your mind
give me the peace and joy in your mind


Muse - Bliss

i like being up early
i just don't like the waking up bit

. floundering .

It's officially the 2nd wk of this H yr, though truthfully, the work started in Jan.
Along with it came the stress of being someone I don't feel I am. I mean...c'mon, if you knew me from yrs ago, you'd never have expected me to last this long doin a degree like this, much less goin this far with all its research n stats and "on the ball"isms and crap like that. omgkillmenow.
I've been havin to meet wi my lecturer more or less every wk since 3rd wk of Jan or so. And since our 1st convo early Jan, I'd been trying to gear up and be disciplined enough to do some semblance of work...if not daily then at least weekly. But it's not been happening. And everytime I near our meetings, and everytime I try to get an article in my head, I ask myself, wtf am I doing? why aren't I using the 10grand to travel. Well ok, granted, that 10grand ain't mine. But seriously, wtf am I doing? What am I trying to prove to myself? I've already proven I can stick it out doing a science degree. Should I really be trying to prove to myself that I can go this far? I could I guess, but I'm finding the older I grow, the less I'm tolerating shit I don't enjoy or particularly care for. Which is mostly awesome for me, not so much the people around me. And then I get this feeling I know how a newly-caught bird feels in its cage.

I stay in this course because I tell myself that I really am interested in this stuff. I really am interested in how the mind works. But we haven't yet hit the sweet spot...the really intriguing stuff and maybe if I stuck around long enough, I could turn my back on this with certainty and close this chapter. But if I'm already deciding to close this chapter then why am I still waiting around? Just for the certainty? Life isn't ever certain so why waste another year? For the experience? I know it's gonna be an enriching year. Hell I get excited everytime I hear my course coordinators talk about the year ahead (twice so far) but then I leave the lecture halls, come home for a nap (cos they both started way too early in the morning) and that's the end of my excitement and motivation. Then of course there's the possibility of finally validating my interest in this subject. But while I'd often said in the past that I was interested in being a counselor, I'm now tired. So very tired, of listening to everyone's problems and trying to help them. Now all I want to do is slap them all across their faces or bang their heads against walls and then tell them to go find some other poor sod who'd listen to their whinings. Or whine to a blog. Like I'm doing right now. Honestly! These girls and their friggin relationship problems (and obvious masochistic tendencies)! Or these people and their insecurities! Stop it already! I have my own set of problems to deal with! If you wanna come whine to me, at least be willing to take my advice or jus SOD OFF! And anyway, I'm not that great at it...hell I couldn't even get a friend's bf to realise he's paranoid without almost losing it at him.
"You're just too insecure and paranoid and you need to get over that."
"I know I'm paranoid but I know the truth too."
"Do you even know what paranoia is?"
"Yes I do but I also know that she's lying to me"
-_- Yes he does indeed know what paranoia is. Oh yes. It means being intuitively attuned to knowing the truth. No dickhead. It's not intuition. It's paranoia.

So I guess this counselling gig is off. What else can I embark on? There's so little time now to learn skills and explore! Hell I'm already at that age where once in a while I see that biological clock's countdown. I sure as hell don't want kids now. But we all know how hard time slams you on the head as it whizzes past you.

Years ago, I looked forward to the future and its limitless potential, endless possibilities with little restrictions and all the time in the world yadayada. It really didnt feel too long ago. But now that I've counted the years. Wtf.

I'm afraid I feel like I'm at the end of that eagerbeaver wide-eyed excitement. Now, once in a while (like now) I just get hit with pangs of anxiety and the image of the death sentence of mediocrity with bursting bubbles of dreams and it's getting harder to ignore with my usual bright-eyed optimism. It's like I've waited too long to light those fireworks and now they'll either be unlightable, or the sparks just won't be so grand anymore.

I've never felt more like giving up on anything than I do this.

Help!

Help me get back into my Vortex!

we learn as we go and we make our decisions along the way
you can't undo what has gone before
be as you'll be and i'll choose to feel how i feel
i don't need you to be different for me to feel good
one's happiness should not have to depend on another's restraint
Fun now! Doesn't matter!

. floating down the river, oars free from their holds long ago .

Maybe we can meet further down the river. We'll share what we've discovered and revel in the view

"What if you realise that everything that's happening TO you is really happening FOR you(, for your greater good)?" Tony Robbins

The 2 most important msgs:

A feeling of vulnerability, and expectation of bad things happening, is the reason that bad things happen. That feeling produces the physical evidence of bad things happening. As physical beings, you put the emphasis upon the bad things that have happened. You stack up this 'evidence' and use it against yourself, causing your negative expectation to grow larger and larger. If instead, you will put the emphasis upon what really caused the bad things to happen - your thought and feeling of negative expectation - then the evidence would not loom so large. You would see it only as the physical manifestation of your thought rather than the threatening thing it seemed before.

When you see negative evidence for what it really is - temporary evidence created by you, drawn by you and experienced by you - you can let go out of the same door it came in: It got in by your thought and feeling. Change your thought, and your feeling will change - and it will leave your experience.

From your action oriented physical perspective, the physical creation - or evidence - holds more weight in your system of beliefs than it deserves - or the evidence was created from thought.

Change the thought and the evidence will vanish.

Abraham-Hicks, A New Beginning II, P 126

Hold in your mind two words, the first word is INCLUSION meaning things I would like to include in my experience. I would like to include abundance, I would like to include wellness, I would like to include vitality, I would like to include oriental rug. Anything that you are wanting to include in your experience INCLUSION .

The other word is EXCLUSION meaning things not wanted. I would like to exclude death, I'd like to exclude sickness I'd like to exclude violence. Exclusion, things NOT wanted.

The thing that we so much want you to hear is that there is no such thing as exclusion, and every time you attempt it all you really do is include in your vibration something you don't want!

You get it don't you. So what happens is you see because you've been trained to exclude, you've been trained to say" Watch out for that" "I don't want that" and all along you're including that thing that you don't want. So when you say "I want more money I don't want debt" you're actually including two contradictory vibrations within your vibration. You get the sense of this?

"satisfied with who I am and eager for more."

. Be not solvers of problems, be dreamers of dreams .

=)

. strawberry creamcheese earlgrey cupcakes with lime creamcheese frosting .

:D

stop infecting me with your overthinking!!!



stop letting yourself get infected with that friggin overthinking!


so bloody annoying.........yuck!

as the cliched saying goes....life is complicated enough without you having to complicate it further. i like the way i deal with people and their silly complications. i don't need you and your tentacles of paranoia getting into my brain and confuzzling everything up.

stupid easily confuzzleable brain of mine.

live in fish water long enough and u start to smell like a fishducking fish.


STOP GETTING INFLUENCED!!!!!!

There are some of you I have to thank, in particular, Ning, Addy & Bren, for your unwavering acceptance, faith and not being hasty in judgement

what is seen, is only superficial
what you glean from it, is only your projection
what you all glean from it might be far from the truth
what you glean from the superficial, is all but superficial.
and if it's worth your while, you really should look beneath
just too bad undercurrents disappear with time
just too bad it wasn't enough
and all you're left with is is just a papercut
so we'll never know, now would we
and i'll still remain, confused, unsatisfied
and yes
maligned
i'm sorry that my first reaction is to placate the other
i'm sorry that my first feeling was that of numbness
i'm sorry i couldn't react fast enough
and i'm sorry that now that i'm not numb
i can't call you and tell you exactly how i feel now.
wrong timing
but i promise you that i will talk to you about it
just not right now

The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.

Thoreau

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaving and company doesn't mean security, And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child, And you learn to build your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure...That you really are strong And you really do have worth.

-Veronica A. Snoffstall-

i managed to catch today's episode of the WB series, Privileged on Fox8. It's episode 10.
i completely identify with megan's way of thinking re: dating.

. raisin & mint choc bits cookies .

125g butter
1 cup of brown sugar and granulated sugar mix (mostly brown sugar)
1 large egg
¼ cup milk
2 tsp vanilla essence
1 ¾ flour
½ tsp bs
½ tsp bp
½ tsp salt
1 ½ tsp instant coffee
1 cup raisins (or however much you want)
1 ½ cup choc chips (or however much you want. I didn’t have choc chips so I cut up a block of some couverture chocolate and the remaining cubes of mint choc that my housemate had lying around
Optional:
Almond essence
Cinnamon sugar for dusting

1. Preheat oven to 180C.
2. Sift flour, bs, bp and salt.
3. Cream butter wi sugars till fluffy approx 30secs
4. Beat in egg and vanilla extract for another 30 secs till well combined. Stir in milk/
5. Beat power into butter about 15 secs low speed till just combined. Stir in rest of ingredients.
6. Roll heaped tbs of batter into balls or drop batter onto baking sheet about 3 inches apart. Press down gently with back of spoon to spread out into a 2 inch circle (if you want)
7. Dust with cinnamon sugar if you want your cookies to come out nice n crunchy/crispy on top.
8. Bake for about 15-20 mins till nicely browned.





(weird photo effect that my computer made while trying to upload this pic. it's supposed to be an accidental <3 -_-="" a="" all="" anyway="" be="" become="" br="" come="" cookie...btw...="" could="" course="" did="" dumbasses="" else="" end="" eyes="" hate="" heart.="" heart="" i="" it="" la="" love="" means="" of="" on="" phrase="" popular="" rant="" real="" retards="" rolls="" s="" shape="" shaped="" sudden="" that="" the="" what="" when="">


I HAVE to say! The mint choc made a really really nice touch!

On another note, I made earl grey cupcakes with orange buttercream icing a coupla weeks ago. Good stuff. A little drama also heh cos a whole slew of people wanted to help me and I'm usually a 1 woman show when it comes to baking so I had to think of stuff that they could do and got a little distracted. Also, my butter didn't soften as much as I'd hoped it would (darn u cold weather!) so it was really hard to cream. Whilst my fren's bf was creaming the butter with his MANLY STRENGTH I decided to try a little trick of Mummy's by separating the yolks and the white and beating the whites till stiff.
So after I mixed everything together, the batter looked a little not runny which was strange, but me being a little harried n stuff went "meh" and put the cupcakes into the oven. Then realised I didnt mix in the damn whites -_-
Thank goodness there was some left over batter waiting to be distributed into my pretty pink disney princesses cupcake liners (which I bought for my fren's bf hahaha...pwetty pink for u sir!)

ANyhoo!! Despite all the drama, the cakes turned out really yum! Coulda done with more earl grey. Might try it out again next time. Who knows? The only recipe I've done more than once was the lavender cookies.

And Lyshe, I'll try to bother to put up pictures. But they're really nothing to look at. They kinda look like mini steamed Chinese egg cakes. The kind you see at Chinese New Year.

what would i want if i didn't care what you'd think

. Take the Next Step in Life .

Map out your unique path
Source: California Psychics

One of the biggest challenges we face as people is to remember that life is a journey. While each one of us has our own special strengths and purposes, our time on this earth is not sequentially mapped out. Every choice, or step along the way, is an opportunity to find fulfillment, especially when we are true to ourselves.

Where's the easy road?
We tend to get so wrapped up and stressed out that we forget what we're doing, which can complicate navigating where we are going. Life is demanding, and more often than not, a little bit uncertain. Sometimes, the trials and tribulations of experience are exactly what we need to start us thinking about the path we are on in this life. Just because things may be confusing or challenging now, it doesn't mean that road ahead is going to unfold the same way. Many of us choose to take the hard roads - it's like we believe the greater the struggle, the greater the victory. While there may be some truth in that, we often times make things more complicated than they have to be.

Your life path
It is said that each one of us has a purpose, something we are in this world to do. We tend to think that we are here to achieve that one great thing, whatever it may be. This concept can often cloud our judgment, making us feel that somehow we are doing something wrong, heading in the wrong direction, or simply going nowhere at all. Unlike a road trip, life isn't a singular destination pinpointed on a map, it is more of a collection of thoughts, feelings, desires and experiences. Because of this, we have more than one purpose per life, and the freedom and ability to change the path that we are on.

In order to understand your path in life, it is often essential to understand where you are now, and how it is you got here. By looking back with an open and unbiased mind, you are likely to see how your life has evolved. By reflecting over days gone by, we can refresh our minds and spirits of the things that worked for us, as well as those things that didn't work out quite as well.

The ultimate life...
Sometimes, we get to do what we want to, other times we simply do what we have to, but all of it is somehow connected to the choices we have made. That's the beauty and the heartache of having free will - nobody's destiny is left strictly to fate.

Your life path is very unique to you. While others may have common goals or desires, their path to ultimate fulfillment may take them down very different roads from your own. Take the time to ask yourself what it is you really want out of life, and then think of how you can make it so. Because many of us are much more familiar with the list of things we don't want, a simple place to start would be creating a plan to become free from those things. Sometimes a little reverse-engineering can lead to great discovery. In order to find your true path in life, you must learn or accept what is true to you - even if that truth is something grand and scary.

Some paths are smooth, others have more than a few bumps. Life, and its twisting paths, causes us to grow and change. Some days, the only way to know where we are going is to pause and acknowledge how far we've come.

The world is your oyster
Whether you know where you are going, or have just recently figured out where you have been, there is uncharted territory for you left to explore. Don't fear what comes next, because fear can keep you still. Chase your dreams, plan to fulfill your desires, follow your heart and honor the person you have become. The next step in your life is what you've decided it will be. Remember, life may be but a journey, but you are in the driver's seat!

When you follow where your spirit leads, you'll never be lead astray. So face each day with an open heart and open mind, and work as hard as you play!

. j-hop .

I love J-hop
yeah...wouldn't you believe it ;p
I'm definitely not an expert on the subject but I can say that what I really love about the songs I've heard is the chillout feel about them. It's a very beachy sunset vibe I get from a very simple yet complex sounding music. Yeah I really don't quite know how to describe it. But although both guitar work and drumbeats sound complex to replicate, they both have a very simplistic feel to them. And when I find translations of the lyrics, I often am pleasantly surprised to find them meaningful and richly descriptive. Like this one

Miss Monday - The Light (feat. Kj, Moriyama Naotaro, PES)

Lyrics: Kj, Miss Monday, PES, Moriyama Naotaro
Music: Kj

[PES]
The world began long, long ago
In an empty darkness like the one I find myself in
There are no second takes if you get lost
So I drift towards the exit

The irony is that I keep on walking
Even though I don’t know what path I’m on
When I finally arrive
The scenery changes from monochrome to color

Lights, Camera, Action
When I climb on stage I feel satisfaction
You give me light, if I reach out I can touch your heart

If you’re ever shocked with sadness or despair
I’ll offer you my voice and song, and soon you’ll shine

*[Moriyama Naotaro]
This sadness blends into the morning light
And vanishes in a single moment
So that all lies and mistakes are forgiven…

[Kj]
(The Light) Finger picking guitar play
Yeah I stumbled on bitter days
(The Light) Muddy rainy way
Yeah, smile even if you’re wet

Hey, these days aren’t so bad
Everyone stops and stands still
Walk again, first, put one foot forward
Let’s go all the way to a new city

I know you feel the same, friend
We pass each other by on intersections
Going this way and that
How often must we suffer this?

This is how we replenish ourselves, hey beautiful dreamer
Hey see the light, joyful life

**[Moriyama Naotaro]
Beneath the curtain of the night sky
Stardust falls and vanishes in that moment
So the wishes and dreams of that day will come true…

[Miss Monday]
See the light, Just feel the vibes…

The darker this night gets
The brighter the star called hope shines…

The deeper this surrounding darkness gets
The more I know I should just follow my feelings…

The city awakens like always
And the morning sun is like a tender kiss

Shining down on feet that are easily led astray
Hurrying us up on a new start

Why was I confused?
Why did I stop when someone asked me about my dream?

I’m someone who doesn’t care if they’re laughed at
I know I shouldn’t be one to give up

Tears and laughter, they’re not all useless
I won’t rush it, but I’m not waiting for a miracle either

With these hands, I want to see the future with you
Dawn is near…

(The Light) darkness recedes now, see the light
(The Light) just for a moment, see the light
(The Light) before your eyes, see the light

(Repeat*)
(Repeat**)

In the endless night
I considered that there were no endless nights…

. the kind of mother i'd imagine i would be .

As a mother, she'll see that the baby is clean, happy, healthy and loved. She probably won't pick him up every time he cries, fuss over him or overprotect him. But her children will get lots of warm, impulsive kisses and bear hugs. An Aries mother will teach her youngsters to believe in leprechauns. She'll take them for walks in the park, and point out the sparkling necklaces left on the lawn by the fairies when they danced under the moon where others might see only the early morning dew on the grass. Aries women create a magic world of fantasy for their children. It's where they live themselves. She won't be a permissive parent, she'll insist on strict discipline, and will probably be very fortunate in raising her offspring to be independent adults. Her favorite weapons of child psychology are: a wooden paddle, bedtime stories and goodnight kisses.

Except I'm not Aries

“Friendship is like a glass ornament, once it is broken it can rarely be put back together exactly the same way”

sometimes your greatest teachers are your greatest annoyances

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved —loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”

— Victor Hugo

“There are four questions of value in life… What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.”

— Johnny Depp

“I think the thing to do is to enjoy the ride while you’re on it.”

— Johnny Depp

i think i will defer my 4th year and see if i can get a working holiday visa to somewhere else for a year.

i don't want to be the one who tries any more _|_

i wonder if u realise just how much i treasure you and our friendship and wish that we could be closer and that i could understand you better and not feel like i'm ever so slowly drifting away.

. trying to get over a 19 yr old habit .

i really wanted to put in my best effort this year
we're...what....4 weeks? (see i don't even know) into term with a major asg due in 2 wks and i havent even really digested the basic readings.
augh

i can stay up the whole night to finish a 500 pg novel but i can't even finish 250 pgs in 3 wks.


god give me strength!

. random musings .

was talking to 1 of my friends, this girl fr home whom i met here...
i guess i'm not the only one who feels like i've constantly got a veil over my eyes when it comes to deciding what to do for my future. i've always thought that other people seemed to always know what to do, or if they didn't they at least were more informed of their choices. i don't know how they manage to get so informed. i think i'm gonna go look for some counsellors next week to have a talk with them.
she was telling me how screwed up sg's education system is. she said she's been helping a whole buncha masters students with their work. tutoring them stuff that she learnt in poly.
Can u believe it? The info we learn in our dips is equivalent to the crap these people learn doing their degrees and MASTERS. MASTERS for god's sake! Most people everywhere else get diplomas in a year. Which is fair enough, I mean, you can't expect to learn much in the span of a year. So why do we come out of a 3 yr course with info that people learn in their MASTERS course.... and therefore graduate with a masters of something....and we only get a friggin DIP?!
And am I the last person from that little island that just discovered this info?
We could have bloody well grad-ed with a deg at the least. Not even asking for masters. Bastards. Or maybe jus plain nincompoops. rarrr

i'm pmsing. can u tell? but i'm quite sure if i wasn't i'd still be annoyed. GIVE ME BACK MY YOUTH U BASTARDS!

so last week was officially the last weekend of summer....
and i inadvertently spent saturday night dancing away at a club.
haven't done that for some time. kinda miss it, miss doing that with the bunch of mcm girls.
honestly, i haven't found as crazy and fun a bunch as you guys....and there i was at that age, thinking we were normal.... thinking i was such a quiet, normal, uncrazy girl.
compared to everyone i've met here so far, i'm pretty much considered jus lil off the centre.
weirdness
people here are no fun.
i doubt i'll ever find a buncha girls who'd do the lean back thing with or anything like that.

. Synchronicity .

I checked out a Stats book on the 11th this month just in case I needed extra help with my PRM revision/1st time learning.
The receipt had the details of date and time that it's supposed to be returned cos this book was from the 3hr loan area.
This is what the receipt said

11/11 08:08:08 (yes down to the second)

So which lottery thingy should I buy?

. Chocolate Strawberry Yoghurt Lime Cupcake .

About 1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 cup strawberry yoghurt (I used ski)
Lime peel chopped (however much you want...I chopped till I was tired)
About 1/5-1/4 cup of milk. (Um I used quite a big mug so maybe 1/4)
2 eggs
125g butter
1 cup self-raising wholemeal flour (or plain or normal wholemeal flour with about 1 tsp baking powder and a pinch of salt)
Dash of vanilla essence

Usual steps for baking stuff.....
preheat oven
sift flour n cocoa powder (that's what i did)
cream sugar and butter
add eggs 1 at a time to creamed butter, mix after each
fold in flour/cocoa
add milk, mix mix mix
add yoghurt, mix mix mix
add vanilla essence, whenever you feel like it
add in lime peel chopped....if u have lime juice, maybe u can add a dash or 2? i dunno, i haven't tried that. cos i'm not at home and i've nowhere to store the remaining juice.
empty into cupcake liners or whatever
Bake for about 20 mins in 170-200 deg c oven or till fork/stick comes out clean
stare at clock impatiently
fish tray out of oven
stare at tray impatiently
grab a friend and something hard and fan the cupcakes furiously.
stare impatiently some more
grab a fork, grab cupcake, try not to burn your hand put cupcake on table.
eat

SUPER SOFT MAN!!!
super soft and moist! mmmmm

i made cai tao kueh a few days ago.
of course i'm only writing this now cos i'm severely running out of time to finish my essays.
fuck you procrastinating self!
also, i now crave mee sua soup with mummy's meatballs with tang cai. meh

. note to self .

when baking with cinnamon, 1 full tsp and a big dash is not enough
probably 3 full tsps and a generous few dashes would be better.
also, maybe just 1 smal tsp of chilli will do

. unknowing hypocrites .

some people criticise other people for being superficial, ridicule them behind their backs and have no desire to associate with them yet turn around and assume that a change in looks = a change in character.

if you can't see past and get over the improvement in the wrapper, you aren't worthy of enjoying the gift inside.

unless you're 3 years old and don't know any better...then i forgive you cos you're prolly really cute and cuddly and speak funny

"...while evidence of our intellectual and technological genius is all around us, there is growing concern that in other ways we have seriously underestimated ourselves. In part because of the blinding brilliance of our technological triumphs, we have distracted and dissociated ourselves from our inner world, sought outside for answers that can only be found within, denied the subjective and the sacred, overlooked latent capacities of mind, imperiled our planet, and lived in a collective trance - a contracted, distorted state of mind that goes unrecognised because we share it and take it to be "normality".
There exist within us, however, latent but unexplored creative capacities, depths of psyche, states of consciousness, and stages of development undreamed of by most people."

Walsh, R., & Vaughan, F. (eds). (1993). Paths beyond ego: The transpersonal vision. NY: Penguin Putnam

. time flies. and yet, it doesn't. i'm confused. yet not .

wow i first created this blog june 30 2005
it's been 3 years
3 years since i graduated
thank god it's only been 3 yrs. sometimes it feels like 4 yrs

Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not

Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power, but we never say never
Sitting in a sand-pit, life is a short trip
The music's for the sad men.

Can you imagine when this race is run
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders, we're getting in tune
The music's played by the mad men

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever?
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever?

Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody, some are the beat
Sooner or later they'll all be gone
Why don't they stay young?

It's so hard to get old without a cause
I don't want to perish like a fading horse
Youth is like diamonds in the sun
and diamonds are forever

So many adventures couldn't happen today
So many songs that we forgot to play
So many dreams swinging out of the blue
We let them come true

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever?
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever?

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever?

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever?

Sometimes i can be so intolerant and judgemental i wonder how anyone could say i have a healing touch or that i could be or was a healer. maybe the was part...but could i ever get rid of this intolerant quick tempered streak to be able to heal?

. love .

how do some friendships go fr super close to suddenly just have dissipated into thin air?
no sign, no warning, no talk, no trying. nothing.

why do we have to wait till our egos are horribly bruised, ripped to shreds and trampled upon before we decide enough is enough?
what's up with this completely blind and misguided ability to hold fast to hope even while we feel our hearts about to explode and implode at the same time? or is that just the feeling of our ego being bashed up?

i'm sorry you have to go through this now and i'm sorry you have to find your way out alone while we standby watching you through a glass panel. we all know you'll find your way out but still, if i could hand you a knife to cut your heart out now, i would. but most of all i'm sorry, that at the same time, you had to find out that your best friend really isn't your best friend at all.

it's hard to understand or even have a vague notion of how someone's really feeling if you've never been through it yourself, if you've never been in any position anything like it. it goes both ways. assumptions are often wrong. hopefully we can both cut them some slack. it doesn't mean that you can't be there for her even though she's not being there for you. unconditional is without conditions. it also doesn't mean you can't close your door on her. locking it prolly just wouldn't be wise. you don't want to keep yourself prisoner do you?

. keeping track .

damn it's a busy period

My Jung essay was due yesterday, I will be 2 days late.
My crit review is due tomorrow but I applied for a 2 day extension. I got a day, but that's alright. But augh I'm becoming that which I looked at with disdain and disbelief.
My stats asg is due on the 4th, that's next Thurs then the snow trip the following morning till Sunday evening.
Gotta get groceries and other necessities for the trip in between somehow. Need long johns I think. I wanna get snow boots like the ones I saw at Preston. $70 ain't too bad. Too bad they didn't have my size.
Then Wicked on the 10th. Damn that it clashes with my FCUK workshop. I was so looking forward to that. Aiya.
Then clubbin with Leon and Hiro...maybe or will postpone that to my birthday the followin week to kill 2 birds wi 1 stone.
Gotta meet up with Aunt Ida for my VP and prolly Aunt Alice as well.
Then my birthday on the 20th.
Then breathe and finally the break, the week or so after. But keeping in mind that SCB's asg 2 is due the Thurs after the break and the Psych report the following Tues. With the final Jung essay due slightly less than 2 wks after. And finally study break.
And omg, gotta catch up on readings by then.
And sometime in between, I gotta do my class presentation, either that or that's another 1000 words for Jung.

WHY SO FAST!!!!!

Gotta try to get my presentation in the week before the break. That's the only free-ish week.

‘99% of your creation is complete before you begin to see the evidence. In other words, you’ve lived life, you’ve launched rockets, source has received your rocket, law of attraction has acted on your rocket, actualization is beginning to form around your rocket of desire, but there’s no physical evidence yet. So if you’re counting on the physical evidence before you cheer up,
then you have a sort of gap, don’t you.

Physical friends will say, ‘Well, Abraham, if I could be over there I would feel so much better.’

And we say, ‘We know. But you’ve got to feel better before you can get over there.’

And they say, ‘Can’t I just be the one exception in all of the universe? Can’t you just make it better?

Can’t you change the circumstance so that I can feel better?’

And we say, ‘It’s an inside job. You’ve got to find a way to shift your vibration, and then whatever it is you’re asking for can flow easily into your experience.’

– Abraham-Hicks

Obviously I don't learn my lessons very quickly. Thankfully I have a patient and kind teacher.
It's the same lesson again - everybody does the best they can with the knowledge they have at that moment.
Once again I'm sorry for being overly judgemental and/or critical. I'm still learning. I'm still trying. I -am- a Virgo you know. At least I'm trying.

I like random coincidences and synchronicity
Nothing was planned or purposely manipulated. It all just happened on 20/08/2008. Which also adds up in numerology to 1/1 which then becomes 2...but aiya...lets play along with the synchronicity

. i'm going to the snoow~ i'm going to the snoow~ .

snoowboaarding snooowboarding
Sept 5, 6, 7


then later in the year
i'm going tooo seoul~ i'm going tooo seoul~

i was hoping it'd be more of a snow trip but there's only 1 day of skiing =/
oh well
but then again

i'm going to the snoow~ i'm going to the snoow~

. more food .

In between making the black cherry mocha and the kiwi lime cupcakes, I made a batch of black cherry yoghurt muffins with chocolate chips and 1 had a face on it!! hehe...

I also borrowed my friend's soya bean milk maker thingamajig (which by the way, is a BITCH to clean!!!!!!!!!) and did my very own batch of home made soy milk. Awesomeness I tells ya! I made a few batches. Thing about home made soy milk is that you'll get this residue thingy which the Japs call okara. It's awesome stuff....full of nutrition -> protein, fibre, and all that jazz. Also, it's a superb ingredient for breads and baked goods.

While I was making the kiwi lime cupcakes, I made a mistake and sifted my sugar with my flour (sugar shuda been creamed wi e butter) so I kept that bag of mistake for future use. I don't deal with wastage very well see...

So I used that, added the okara, choc chips and yoghurt and...I dunno maybe 1 egg or something. I wanted to make something scone-like, bread-like. Also I was lazy so I just plonked the whole bowl of batter down into a loaf shaped thing on my pan. I topped it with cinnamon sugar so it'd be all crispy crusty like.

It came out kinda cake like, kinda scone like, kinda bread like, kinda awfully yummilicious as my friend put it. =)

Check the texture out...slightly chewy.....very fluffy......

Mmmness

. one random walk .

fr northcote to brunswick
this is why i could love this place
this is why i love my phone and it's camera

. black cherry mocha .

. kiwi lemon cupcakes .

I made 2 batches.
Well actually I didnt have enough space on my rack for all so the last 2 had significantly less batter than the others. Added vanilla essence and amarula.
The others rose like a souffle and fell like badly done souffles as well.

(Badly done souffles)

(Perfecto)

The 2 were perfect.
The differences were the other 2 had less batter, were refrigerated before being baked and had frangelico in them. Hmm...
Also at the end, I turned up the top burner to like full blast to brown the tops. Shiok man
They all taste like the seiyu cheesecake. And with the browned tops like damn yummy crust. Next time I'll add more frangelico and see what happens. Sorry no pics. Lazy to upload the souffle ones... Maybe next time... and the perfect ones were gone too quick. Heh

Her recipe also includes a strawberry and kiwi cream cheese frosting (sounds yummy) but obvi I'm too lazy for that. And the cupcakes are delish on their own anyway. Very delicate flavour with bursts of sourness fr the kiwis. DAMN GOOD LA! I might wanna wolf down another but that'd be 3 of em and it's mdn hehe. GAH NO! NAUGHTY!

Recipe as follows thanks to Couture Cupcakes
Lemon Kiwi Fruit Cupcakes

125g / 1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup caster sugar
3 eggs
1 ¼ cup SR flour
1 tsp finely grated lemon rind
1 tbs lemon juice
1/2 cup sour cream
2 kiwi fruit finely diced
1. Preheat oven to 180 (350).
2. Line a muffin tray with cupcake liners.
3. Cream butter, lemon zest and sugar until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
4. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.
5. Beat in the flour until just combined, add the sour cream and lemon juice and beat until well incorporated.
6. Fold in the finely diced kiwi fruit.
7. Evenly divide the batter into cupcake liners and bake for 20 - 22 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
8. Allow to cool completely before frosting.
Makes 12 cupcakesIt says makes 12 but I'm quite sure if you fill the cups like you're meant to (ie 3/4 stead of 5/6 hehe) you'll def be able to make at least 15, maybe even squeeze out an extra 16th.

. lol .

silly big bro says (5:43 PM):
when i die
on my tombstone or whatever
i want the words "Lol Rez Pls" inscribed on it
lil sis says (5:43 PM):
LOL
hokay
i rem hahaha
silly big bro says (5:44 PM):
at the bottom can put PS, forgot to buy ankhs
lil sis says (5:48 PM):
if you have children...theyll b like...zomgwtfbbq
silly big bro says (5:48 PM):
eh yah good one
"ZOMBWTFBBQ....lol rez pls"
lil sis says (5:48 PM):
11!!! ?
silly big bro says (5:49 PM):
yahyah
that too
maybe right at the bottom
PSS: You healers suck
PSS: L2Rez


he's a troll shaman on gorg in WoW

. Somethings hiding in here .

This website makes me really happy
It'd be a dream to be able to create things to sell...or not... without worrying about whether it'll be enough to pay the bills.
It'd also be a dream to live in a loft like theirs and have a swing in my bedroom =)

They have these moustache thingies which are so cute. I think they'd make awesome t-shirt prints. All kindsa people with those faux moustaches haha

Also, my neighbour's sister has the most awesome dress sense. I think I might finally have found someone whom I wouldn't have to nag to go check out the 2nd hand shops around here with.

Also, I love this place cause there are soo many Volkswagen combies. I'd really like to have one. A camper van. One day.

. Recipe .

So I've finally gotten an oven. =) Table top one, but it'll have to do.
And I realise that I really enjoy baking (my neighbours also apparently enjoy me baking too...I wonder why.....)! I can't wait to go home now because making do with minimal equipment and a temperamental oven while baking is not as fun as messing around with all that crap Mummy has at home. Although, I keep telling myself that mixing by hand would at least be burning off some of the calories I'll no doubt be ingesting at the speed of an inhalation later.

Oh wow what a ramble.

What I was going to say was that obviously, while enjoying baking, I'd have to have recipes to bake. So I found this website (as shown in my last post) (one of many anyway..I get a bit obsessive with googling) and it has a recipe for loove which I've been kind enough to share.

Moroccan Majoun

By Aliza Green from The Santa Monica Farmers' Market Cookbook

Cannabis is mixed with dried fruits, nuts, and spices to make the Moroccan candy called majoun, love potion in Arabic. Marijuana is considered an essential herb in Jamaica’s Rastafarian cooking. Cannabis seeds may be toasted and used as a condiment, ground and brewed as a coffee substitute, made into cakes, or fried. In Japan, the seeds, called asanomi, are one of the ingredients in the spice mixture Shichimi Togarashi.

INGREDIENTS

• 1/4 ounce marijuana tops
• 1/2 cup raisins
• 1/2 cup walnuts
• 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1 teaspoon ground anise
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/2 cup honey
• 1/2 cup water
• 2 tablespoons butter

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Remove stems and seeds from marijuana tops, then dry and crumble the leaves. In a dry skillet, toast the leaves over very low heat until the aromas are released.
2. Mix the leaves with raisins, walnuts, nutmeg, anise, ginger, honey, and water, adding more water if the mixture is too dry and crumbly.
3. Simmer together until the mixture is soft and thick. Mash by hand or transfer to a food processor and blend, using several short pulses.
4. Stir in butter, spoon into a jar, and refrigerate for storage. Spread on crackers or plain cookies, or use as a filling for stuffed cookies. Majoun will keep for 2 to 3 months refrigerated.

. Cooking with Mary Jane .

Cannabis is all right as a cooking spice, says the Indonesian vice president.

Here’s a story that’s been lighting up blogs for the past month: Back at the end of June, the vice president of Indonesia—a country that has some of the most draconian drug trafficking laws in the world—told reporters that it was acceptable for local chefs to use crushed marijuana leaves as a cooking spice. Specifically, he said:

It is all right to use it as a food seasoning, but it should not be fully legalized.

The comment’s context was a recent study recommending that Indonesia review its antimarijuana laws. Cannabis is a traditional cooking spice in many places, such as Indonesia’s Aceh province (where it is reportedly used “just like coriander”), Bolivia, Jamaica, and Morocco.

Pro-pot bloggers have been all over the story, some seeing in it a new argument for legalization. It’s the so-called Martha Stewart defense. So, who’s on board? Gourmands? Brewers? Salad-lovers?

Taken from Chow.com

. Soul vs Ego .

Soul Versus Ego

Is it your true purpose or just desire?

By Tanya

Source: California Psychics

To help you sort out your "soul-purpose" in life - the one true reason you are here (or the thing you were born to do and often wonder whether or not you are actually fulfilling) - it helps to understand how to separate your reason for living from the prompts of your ego (desire).

To begin, keep in mind the things you passionately carry around on your "would-love-to-do list" while you're here on earth. The exciting thing about following your life path, is that doing what you are meant to do and doing what you want to do, don't have to be separate endeavors.

It is very possible to live your soul-purpose while honoring your ego-desire. As a matter of fact, it is wise to do so. Living your soul-purpose is a respectful, kind-hearted gesture to the Universe, while honoring your ego-driven desires is a respectful, kind-hearted gesture to your Self.

To do both successfully, it takes a simple spiritual look inside... and a plan.

Just the facts
To understand it better, think of the soul as the essence of who you are, while the ego is the part of you that is formed out of experiences (plus, it's influenced by our environment and society - your true soul is not). The ego driven things you do are a conscious endeavor, while your soul-purpose gestures are a subconscious assignment. Though the two reside within you, each may have its own goal to accomplish during one's life experience. So the trick is to decipher who is motivating you - your ego or your soul's purpose.

Your soul purpose
Often, the purpose of our soul (or life path) is associated with our choice of profession or vocation, although there is also the belief that it's directly related to a particular way of daily living. In order to discover your very own soul-purpose, you must be honest and open-minded. Once you tap into this state of mind, assess your strengths, passions and skill sets by writing them down. Then weigh those traits with your natural abilities to discover your reason for living. For details, see the example below.

A soul purpose evaluation
I discovered what I believe to be my own soul purpose, with this simple formula, only two years ago. As a result, I found that giving psychic readings fell right in line with the divine reason for my life experience.

My strengths (expression, objectivity and understanding human emotion), my skill set (being psychic, impressive oral and written communication), my passions (helping people) and my natural abilities (sympathy, sensitivity and empathy - I'm a Pisces) all went into the equation.

The reason for my existence, I determined, is to be of service to others, by communication either in spoken or written form - with the intent of influencing empowerment and healing. Therefore, I'm fulfilling my obligation to the Universe by giving spiritual readings! Of course I could also be living my soul-purpose by being a nurse, a psychologist or a teacher, but there were specific yet subtle signs (being psychic?) that led me to choose this manner of assisting others.

What is your ego-desire?
Determining one's ego-desire is easy. Ask yourself 'What is it that I like to do and am good at?' The ego-desire isn't necessarily your chosen occupation - though it's great if it is - it is merely that which you can't see living your life without doing. In the eyes of others, you may be great at it, good at it, or horrible at it… it doesn't matter. It's a hobby of sorts, yet it may get more attention than a hobby later on. It is a personal function of the heart, mind and body, while the soul-purpose is a universal obligation of the spirit. For me, if I couldn't write, I don't know what I'd do with all of my creative spurts. I have a dream of someday writing books and screenplays, but in the meantime, I keep my ego-desire flexed by writing articles for California Psychics.com

Remember, it is possible to live your soul-purpose while honoring your ego-desire as shown in the example above. By fulfilling both simultaneously, you are bound to lead a more complete and contented life. Good luck!